Life After Divorce – Approach With Cautious Curiosity

As a Relationship Coach for divorced women, I am amazed at how many well-meaning family and friends decide when it is time for these women to move on, get over it, and find someone new. The phrase, “maybe I just want to be alone”, is uttered out of fear in the first session. My response often is, “maybe you do want to be alone or you could approach life after divorce with cautious curiosity”.

Divorced women are seeking answers to common questions. Does life after divorce have to include a new love relationship? Do I want to be committed again and open myself up to being hurt? Here are a couple of examples from my past clients and the simple strategies they used to have a life after divorce. Their names have been changed to protect their confidential and private matters.

Jane desperately wanted to have a life after divorce. She entered coaching with apprehension. Did she even want to commit to a new love relationship? Her answer was a resounding yes because she did not want to be alone in her later years. Her children were grown and she was lonely. She wanted that real lasting love that she did not attain in her first marriage. Jane was motivated. She let go of the past hurt by appreciating all of the gifts that her former spouse had given her; her children and from them, grandchildren. Her life was already rich with love. For each hurt that she uncovered from her dissolved marriage, she turned it into a blessing. Her desperation to find new love changed. She already had so much love and now she wanted to share that love with her soul-mate. A new love relationship found her.

Maya on the other hand is a client that did not want a life after divorce. She was hoping that her ex-husband would realize his mistake and reunite with her. That never happened? After several years, her family and friends encouraged her to start dating. It turned out to be disastrous to her self-esteem. Every date would be an opportunity for her to share unkind words about her first marriage. Unfortunately none of the first dates turned into second dates and Maya believed that she was undesirable. Maya finally made peace with her past and understood the link between toxic emotions and lack of second dates. Once she changed her language and attitude, she was able to maintain a long-term relationship.

Recovery means to regain strength, balance, and composure. Divorce means to totally separate. In order to answer their own questions, these two women had to totally separate from their past hurts. They were then able to approach with cautious curiosity and move forward with strength, balance, and composure to have an exceptional life after divorce.

Louise Anne, the Divorce Recovery Coach is a highly-sought-after Relationship Coach because the busy divorced women she coaches over the phone easily get what they desire; healthy relationships and real lasting love. Visit http://www.divorcerecovery4women.com/ for more resources.